Back in February, Dr. Donna Marino and I hosted a LinkedIn Live conversation about the how myths, personal beliefs, and emotions play a significant role in family succession planning.

That conversation became the inspiration for an article we co-authored for Family Business Magazine in which we talk about the need for frequent, candid conversations and the important role trusted advisors play in helping families navigate the complex and often complicated landscape where family relationships and business continuity collide.

My family business

My personal experience with family business succession planning is one of unspoken expectations, avoidance, and a distinct lack of planning. Despite having years during a long illness to talk with me and my siblings, as well as his own brothers, about the current state of the business and what might happen when he was gone, my dad stayed silent on the matter. It wasn't until he died that we found out he left the business to one of his brothers and that my uncle was only willing to accept the bequest if we (his nieces and nephews) used my dad's life insurance to pay off the debt.

What followed was months of conversations about "this is what your father would have wanted" and coming to terms with how my uncle's feelings of entitlement and being 'owed' something collided with the reality that my dad's business was not financially viable and the things my uncle had done to help my dad 'run' the business during his illness prolonged the inevitable need to cease operations.

In hindsight, one might say that my siblings and I could've started the conversations my father wanted to avoid. I even thought that myself - that I had failed to push the issue and force the conversation. Realistically though, as I approached my 40th birthday I was still my dad's child. I knew he would shut down and shut me out if I brought up things he didn't want to talk about or deal with. I knew I couldn't force him to do anything. And I didn't want to fight with him. He wanted to avoid the reality of his illness, his mortality, and a failing business, as well as the emotions and expectations of his children and siblings, so we didn't talk about it. Frankly, no matter how many times I rehearsed my opening line and talking points, when the time came I could never bring myself to address the situation directly.

That saddens me because it meant he dealt with a lot of financial worry by himself when he didn't need to, and he left a lot for us to deal with in his absence. It also saddens me because I know our family's experience is more of the rule than the exception. But it doesn't have to be that way.

"One of the things we often miss in succession planning is that it should be gradual and thoughtful with lots of sharing of information and knowledge and perspective, so it's almost a non-event when it happens." Anne M. Mulcahy, Family Enterprise Foundation

Collaborate and communicate

To be clear, I didn't know how to start these conversations with my family and we didn't have someone like me or Donna Marino to help us figure it out. When it's you and your family, old habits, communication patterns, and decades of relationship baggage make it hard to do this work alone. In fact, it may be an unreasonable expectation. I know first-hand that it's not enough to know what you should do. You need someone who has the experience and emotional distance to initiate and facilitate some of the hardest conversations you may ever have.

With that in mind, I suggest the following for those who want to become more intentional about their relationship to their family business, explore what a 'good' transition might look like, and engage an advisor to help you talk about tough topics and make important decisions.

If you're the business owner:

• Host family meetings to talk about the business and its future.
• Ask your children and other family members whether they want to be involved in the business and in what capacity.
• Ask yourself which family members you think are well-suited to be part of the business and in what capacity.
• Talk with family about how long and in what capacity you want to continue working in the business.
• Discuss what the business means to you and your family, and how you want to use the business to convey and preserve your values in the next generation.
• Meet with potential successors to acknowledge and discuss their readiness and willingness to work toward taking on new roles and responsibilities. Acknowledge knowledge and skill gaps and co-create plans to support their learning and preparation.
• Don't let old hurts, misunderstandings, disappointments, or assumptions go unaddressed - seek resolution to find common ground to move forward.
• Be candid about your fears and worries, as well as your hopes and aspirations.
• Act with and from love.

If your the family member:

• Share your interest in talking about the about the business and its future with the owner.
• Ask yourself whether you want to be involved in the business and in what capacity.
• Reflect on your readiness and willingness to work toward taking on new roles and responsibilities. Acknowledge knowledge and skill gaps and propose a plan for how you will prepare to take on more responsibility.
• Share what the business means to you and what you're committed to doing to preserve it's legacy and values for the next generation.
• Express your interest early and clearly.
• Don't let old hurts, misunderstandings, disappointments, or assumptions go unaddressed - seek resolution to find common ground to move forward.
• Be candid about your fears and worries, as well as your hopes and aspirations.
• Act with and from love.

For more information about how Purpose First Advisors can help you and your family plan for the future, visit our strategic business advisors page or schedule a free consultation.

Sometimes the people who can get you to really think about what's next - how long you want to keep working, what will happen if you suddenly can't work, how much you want to work, what selling could look like - are spouses, children, and employees.

Who in your life wants to know - deserves to know - what your succession plans are?

Even if you're scared, overwhelmed, or intimidated by the prospect of things changing, might the concerns and need for clarity from people you care about be the encouragement you need to prioritize finding someone to talk with about business exits, leadership transitions, and ways to preserve your legacy?

The questions my client's employees were asking her about the future combined with her growing desire to work less got her to make the call.

“I thought I’d work forever and forever is now,” is what she said when I asked her what had changed, and why she was reaching out to talk about selling her business.

She took a sip of her coffee and said, “I’m well past retirement age, my employees want to know what my timeline looks like, and I don’t want to work this hard anymore. At the same time, I’m trying to cut back on my hours but I keep going to the office. I’m freaked out about what I’ll do when I’m not working but also tired and ready to work less.”

“This all makes sense and almost every business owner I talk to can’t imagine not working. Frankly, I’m really glad your employees have been bugging you for a plan and you’re ready to talk.”

“Yeah, it's time. I’d like to start slow, maybe with an with an emergency succession plan and go from there.”

I smiled and said, “That’s a great place to start. That process will open up your thinking about how you run your business, what you might want to keep doing while you scale back your hours, and what legal documents and internal processes you need in place to ensure business continuity in the event you become incapacitated (or fly off for an extended Tahitian vacation.)"

“Oh, I’m the only one who writes proposals, does invoicing, does the banking - there's a lot of things that no one else does,” she said.

I exclaimed, “I know! That’s why your employees want to know what the plan is and I want to help you train them to do these things so a potential buyer will be confident that the business can run profitability without you.”

She smiled, lowered her head and raised her eyes, “I get it. I’ve just never had to train anyone on the things I do and so many little details and nuances live in my head.”

“Yeah, " I said “and it means that you’ve built a $3m business with one hand tied behind your back.”

"My job is to help you think about what will make your business most attractive to potential buyers and create as many of those conditions as possible. High owner dependence makes your business less valuable. So does a lack of standard operating procedures and cross-training.”

I went on to say, “For you to work less, others need to work more or we need to hire other people to take on different roles. You need to train them and let them practice doing new things. You need to teach them all the things you do instinctively that make this business successful.”

She leaned forward and said, “I do have one person I’ve been showing how to do some things and she might even be interested in buying the business.” she said. “It’s important to me to help her do that when we’re both ready.”

I smiled and said, “That’s so good to know. What a wonderful thing to work toward!

I made a note and explained, “that means it’s also important for you to start making financial decisions based on demonstrating consistent, reliable cash flow. If your employee eventually needs a bank loan to make this deal work the bank will want to see the numbers that tell them the business can service the debt.”

“Fortunately, we have time to document, train on, and delegate your responsibilities before we go to market. And we have time to get your financial documents in order in anticipation of due diligence and an underwriting process.”

With a sigh and a smile she said, "It's a good thing I’m not ready to be ‘done, done’ tomorrow. This sounds like a lot of work!”

“It is.” I put down my pen and said, “which is why it's always best to run your business to be exit ready and transferrable regardless of whether you are ready to or interested in selling. Now the most important thing is to get started and make these changes."

“Let’s get focused. I’m ready to do it,” she said, sitting up a little straighter in her chair.

Getting focused helped this owner increase revenue 34% and profit 137% YOY, update her estate plan, review her wealth management strategies, create an emergency succession plan, identify a prospective buyer, and set an asking price 40% higher than initially anticipated.

Even if you think you’re going to work forever, you might change your mind. Let’s talk about integrating succession planning and value acceleration strategies into your annual growth plan to position your business to be as appealing as possible to potential heirs or buyers. That gives you more business exit and transition choices whenever you decide to change your role in the business or sell.