That thing you’re feeling—the stress, tension, and weight of running and growing your business—is friction. The more friction you face, the greater the effort required, making even routine decisions feel like uphill battles.
Every business owner I know, myself included, strives to reduce the effort needed to grow and be profitable. We implement systems, automate tasks, and lean on AI or standard operating procedures to smooth out operational bumps. But the hardest friction to remove—the kind that no app or process can outsource—is people friction.
People friction manifests in two distinct ways:
The loneliness of leadership can feel like an invisible weight pressing down on every decision. You struggle to solve problems, evaluate opportunities, and take consistent action alone. You beat yourself up for knowing better but not doing better, questioning whether you lack the ability or the sheer will to succeed.
You try to ease the friction by reading books, watching videos, and replicating the success formulas of others. If they did it alone, surely you can, too. Or maybe you hire a coach who reinforces the belief that pushing harder and working faster is the solution—relying on willpower to force results.
But eventually, you realize that effort alone doesn’t work. You’ve exhausted yourself chasing formulas, methods, and hacks that haven’t delivered sustainable success. And because you’ve already sought help once (or several times) and it didn’t provide the relief you needed, you resist engaging the advisors who could walk beside you—not just offer advice, but truly expand your intellectual and emotional capacity to grow your business.
Sometimes, you avoid seeking deep, committed support from the outset, convinced you can't afford it, don’t deserve it, or won’t need it until you hit a major milestone. Maybe past advisors failed you, or you struggle to trust that someone could be fully invested in your success.
And so, you push harder—trying to create better results through sheer determination—only to generate more friction, because you’re still doing it alone.
Leadership friction stems from the gap between the effort required to listen, teach, coach, and elevate others—and the effort you’re willing (or able) to make.
You want employees to show up, do their jobs, leave distractions at the door, and be intrinsically motivated to grow. You want self-starters with adaptability, resourcefulness, emotional intelligence, and strong communication skills.
To ease the burden, you hire better, pay more, or delegate leadership responsibilities. Yet, despite these efforts, employees still need your time, guidance, and support. They need you.
You prioritize doing the work of the business, thinking that hiring managers and coaches will fill the gap—but without investing in a culture of leadership development, your efforts fall short. Employees become frustrated. You become overwhelmed and even resentful.
As your team’s needs grow, your ability to scale your business slows. Every attempt to bypass the work of building a high-performing, values-driven workplace creates more friction, not less.
"Friction tells us where things are straining, where care is needed, and where attention should go." - Kayla Scanlon
Your business’s nervous system is experiencing the friction. And you are experiencing the pain it creates.
If this pain has been lingering, it’s a sign that what you’re doing isn’t working. Not because you’re ineffective—but because the approach isn’t yielding the desired results.
The friction and the pain it causes have your attention. So now, ask yourself:
When you pinpoint the friction within your business—when you act with care and intention to reduce effort and improve results—you create conditions that ease strain, remove barriers, and accelerate growth.
1. Build a Circle of Trusted Advisors : Many business owners believe they must "go it alone" to prove their competence. But having advisors and others who walk beside you—rather than just offering occasional advice—expands your capacity to make informed, strategic decisions.
2. Create a Decision-Making Framework: Loneliness amplifies decision fatigue. Without a clear framework, business owners second-guess themselves, delaying action or making reactive choices.
3. Cultivate Vulnerability & Self-Awareness: The pressure to appear competent can lead to self-imposed isolation. Admitting uncertainty isn’t a weakness—it’s a growth strategy.
1. Shift From Transactional to Relational Leadership: Business owners often seek “self-starters” who require minimal guidance. But leadership development isn’t about hiring perfect employees—it’s about creating the conditions for growth.
2. Replace “Hiring for Skills” With “Hiring for Potential”: Skills can be taught—attitude, adaptability, and values alignment must be prioritized. This shift in your approach to talent management from performance to performance + potential is crucial for successful succession planning.
3. Lead With Clarity & Consistency: Many employees disengage not because they lack motivation, but because the path forward isn’t clear.
